I think that's something that I should learn, really. Because that has always been my downfall. I care too much and always have to say my piece. I think I should manage that more often just to lessen the shit I have in life.
I should just stick to my business, hone my craft and enjoy my life.
Sometimes, it can be tiring.
Physical fatigue is one thing but dealing with mental fatigue is another. I think I've been chasing one goal after another and balancing the roles that I need to fulfill that I'm somehow letting myself go. Truth be told, I just want to let go of everything right now and try to live how I want to live. It's pretty impossible with the current situation though.
At any rate, I find it wonderful that I'm able to channel things into writing again. I hope I will no longer run out of words.
Sobrang sama lang ng loob ko.
Sobrang hindi ko macontrol ang init ng ulo ko ngayon.
Palala ng palala ang nararamdaman ko.
Medyo nakakatakot na rin sa totoo lang.
Ayaw kong kumausap ng kahit sino.
Gusto ko na lang umalis at manahimik muna.
Ayaw ko na ng pagiging alipin ng hospital.
Hindi ka bayad pero pinapagbayad ka.
What's going on?
It feels like I'm just pushing on with no soul left in me. I feel like all my energy has been disintegrated and Im just doing this because I have to and not because I want to.
Maybe it's just burn out?
Maybe I'm just spread too thin.
I don't know.
