Saturday, November 12, 2011

Tired

It's just the first week back in school and I am already feeling tired. The first day felt as if it was Friday and I was all beaten up with the mountainous tasks that had to be accomplished. What's worse is that it's the time of the year. Haaay.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Break My Heart into Pieces

I know I did you wrong at some point.
I know you're not yet ready.
I am not too.
But I don't want to bottle everything up
and say nothing when I really feel for you.

So, if in case you feel for me too,
tell me.
I am willing to wait until forever
just don't make me wait in vain
especially when you know I've been through this hell before
and it will crush my heart
if you just let me fall
hard.

The End

I should be cramming for Biochemistry and Anatomy right now. I would normally be undoing because I just came home from a friend's party and it's 11 o'clock. I have loads of duties and responsibilities to fulfill and yet I am on this page writing my thoughts away. Perhaps, it's mainly because of what is playing on TV right now - CheChe Lazaro Presents Suicide. Am I suicidal? I don't think so. I haven't committed suicide but I must admit that I had thoughts before when I became depressed. I've also heard someone told me to do it. Yes, it is indeed weird. I bet if you're reading this and you're clueless of who I am or even if you know who I am, you'd think I am crazy. I suppose I am. But I am still alive. Now, why would I be writing about this right now? It's simply because I am still bothered with what happened to my friend years ago..

It's over and done. It's been years. But I still can't get over what happened. There are days when I still couldn't accept the fact that he is gone and that he actually committed suicide. I still can't forgive myself for not doing anything at the least. I know for a fact that I can't do anything if he really wanted to kill himself but I can't help but think that I could have made him feel better and helped him get out of his depression. I guess it's because of the TV why I would be this affected with what had happened years ago. However, I am usually a mess during these times because his birthday and death anniversary is near. I still relive the moments when he last talked to me and when I last found out how things went. It was painful. We all had to accept it and move on. But the scars are still there. After what happened to him, I vowed to myself that I would do whatever I can to prevent something like this from happening again. I felt the pain that a friend/brother would feel if he loses someone by suicide and I don't dare inflict the same pain to any of my friends. Blah. This is so crazy, insane shitness. I hate this but this is what it is and I have to deal with it. I guess I'll just visit his grave soon.. I hope he's happy wherever he is now.

Friday, November 4, 2011

if you are given a barbie doll, will you go to bed early?

No.

Strike 2. One more and it's astalavista baby.

If there was one thing that you could bring back from the past, what would it be?

My dad.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

your worst asset/trait/characteristic?

Choose between hot-tempered and difficult-to-please.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

malas ba o swerte ang mga taong may allergy sa mga alcoholic drinks?

Swerte. We have the perfect excuse. :D

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Yes.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Yes.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Does anyone hate you?

Yes. A lot of people hate me but I believe there are more that like me. Well, at least I'm being who I am. :)

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

If you have one day left to live what would you do and why? :)

I will have a concert and the chorales and singing groups I've performed with have to showcase their talents. It'll be a celebration of music and arts. I'll have a duet with Kyla, Jed Madela, Martin Nievera, Gary Valenciano, Adele. I'll sing with Nursing Chorale and Medicine Chorale. I'll have a duet with my singing partners before. I'll perform with Cluster D Medwards and have a reunion of the Hairspray crew plus my high school class' West Side Story. :)) I would love to have that for the last day of my life. :)))))

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

What is your favorite movie?:)

Shattered Glass.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

plastic ka ba?

Hindi. Tao ako.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Do you consider yourself to be a giver or a taker? Why?

I give when I need to and I take when I have no other choice. I try as much as I can to keep it balanced.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you?

She gave me presents for my birthday.. She didn't do it just for a day. It was a series of anonymous gift giving and surprises. I didn't even know who she was that time. :))

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

How old is too old for a teddy bear?

School age.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Update

Lately, I haven't been updating my blog despite the luxurious time that I am blessed with which we call semestral break. Well, it's just that during breaks, I am not keen on updating anyone about me except for some select friends that I know truly cares about what's going on with my life. In a few days, I will head back to the masochistic-sadistic life I live in medical school. It seems as if I just want the constant presence of avoidable pressure if only I chose a different career path. Well, I figure that I would be able to help more people with the path I am taking and it's not like I have much of a choice now anyway. But I suppose for now, I shall stand still with my decision that I might stop if I fail a subject. 

Anyhow, what has been up lately?

I am trying to lose weight because I don't feel well anymore. There are times that a flight of stairs would already be a challenge for me. I suppose I'm just not used to the sedentary lifestyle. I am going on a diet soon.. together with my mom. Add to that, I figured ti will be really useful if and when I join the UST Medicine Badminton Varsity Team. Apart from that, I hate the sight of stretch marks. I already had them and I figured I wouldn't want to add more to that. I hate being an ugly piece of crap. Sa Med, bobo na nga ako, pangit pa? Ayaw ko nga! Saan na lang ako pupulutin niyan diba? Sige na ako na bobo, pero pwede naman umayos itsura ko eh. Haha. Shit. That was a stupid thing to say. :))

Apart from that, I'm becoming the TV series junkie that I am. I hate to push off all those academic requirements but I can't help but give in to temptation because I just really want to cherish the vacations I have left. Anyhow, I'm going crazy for singing competitions, specifically X FACTOR both UK and USA version. I already have my bets. It's hands down Melanie Amaro for me. :D She can outsing anyone! For X Factor UK, I'd go for Misha B. :) Oh well, I'm sleepy now. Update next time. 

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Frogs: Friend or foe?

FOE!

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

if you are going to turn back time, how many days are there in a week?

If I were to turn back time, I won't change a thing. There's a reason for doing these things. I'd stick to it.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

No.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yes. I think almost everyone has one.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Yes. :) I'm lucky to have these friends. :)

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Of course!

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

I'd rather not. It is a composite of my being and altering anything would result to a different me. Things happen for a reason. It's best to just accept it and make the best out of it.

But to answer this in a restated question of: "What year was the most difficult for me?", I would say 2005 was challenging.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Yeah. My friends. :)

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Nakakamiss din pala yung sangkatutak mong tanong. (BUT do not take this statement as a trigger) Haha! :)

Don't worry! When the mood hits me, I shall indulge and bombard. :D

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Does it have to be Action speaks louder than words but still words hurt more than action?

Unfortunately, in some situations, that's how it is.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

What part of your body Tickles you the most?

Everything is ticklish. Thus, I don't like being touched.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

What is the first thing that you do when you wake up in the morning? (that's if you sleep :)

I do sleep. Although I wish I don't need to, I still do. First thing? Pee.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

What if you were kidnapped, will you change your favorite color?

I see no point in doing so. It will always be black. :))

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

What do you want to do in life?

It's either I sing or I treat the ailments of people. Go figure which path I'm taking now. :)

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?

Yes. Unfortunately, I'm quite allergic to alcohol especially if it's not processed well or if it's not an "okay brand". I went red once when I tried a bottle of San Miguel Light. Same thing happened with certain brands of red wine.

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.

Are you a competitive person?

Honestly, yes. I do know my limits though. ;)

Ask, but with sense and substance please. Stupid anonymous questions WILL be ignored.