Saturday, February 26, 2011

Just a Breather.

Present in most fragments of my existence is my fondness of playing with words. No matter where I go and what I am up to or involved with, I find a way to make words exist in various places and in various ways. Perhaps the oddity of exploring the Tumblr world is included in one of my insane moments but I deem it happened for a reason. 

I reside in some simple words and the fun of playing with them to encapsulate or even grasp in the simplest or minutest way how I feel or what my thoughts are. I choose to place those fragments in various places that are oftentimes inaccessible to people who would not be able to handle the information responsibly or could not even in the slightest mile comprehend the shallowest thoughts or dig through the deepest of all meanings. Thus, multiple blogs existed with many randomness and non-sense as its contents. But as I often said  only one would be the venue of all my insanity and it shan't be accessible to those undeserving. 

But as I lost myself into my pool of thoughts that I have been pouring out in places known to a few, multiple leaks of defamation and derogatoriness have circulated and embedded in controlled and dependent individuals who seem incapable of developing their own opinions. Enduring false criticisms are one thing. But to allow ignorant creatures to structure the mind of innocent individuals in believing their callous morals and erroneous principles is not something that an idealist like me could withstand. Its easier to keep quiet amidst personal blows as it would favor me to discover who are trustworthy and mature. But to try and shape the public to have a certain mentality be it directly or not is unacceptable. I'll fight for justice and karma will be your bitch. I shan't put things in my hands like the self-righteous would. I shall only defend what I should defend like a loving father would do for his family. Whatever casualties shall be brought to the offenders are products of your doing. I wish that you creatures, if you are still considered as beings with souls and conscience would find it in yourselves to ponder on the thought that you brought this mess to yourselves. 

On that note, if I may have been silent in the public places where I have kept quiet, I believe it's time to reveal the truth.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

At the Breaking Point.

They don't know how much it hurts and they don't know how insulting it could be. Sometimes, it's okay to have fun but they have to know when to get serious. It's okay to be lenient but you have to know when not to be.

I'm tired of allotting time for practices when I have other priorities that needs to be taken cared of. I want to lend my voice to the chorale but the publication needs me more than that. I think I'm quite done with this. Another one and I might break away. I no longer feel good joining it if this would be the case. The singing part is great but the pressure for Himig Tomasino is intense. Add to that, the personal relationships just really aggravate everything. It's bull shit. They think it's not noticeable? Bull. It's too obvious how things are going and who's emerging as a pair. 

What hurts more is that at the end of the road, I might have to face the journal alone once again. I don't know if the people who promised to help will help. Add to that, I somehow feel that I no longer want to do any of these arts. It brings me pain and disappointment.