Friday, May 31, 2013

Days Before the Opening

It's just 2 days before the start of Academic Year 2013-2014 and I still have numerous things that I wish I could do. A big part of me doesn't want this summer vacation to end because this would be the last summer vacation that I will have - assuming I don't fail anything in Med School (which seems like something likely). This year, I'll be trying a shot at having Magna Cum Laude grades. I slipped a little last year and just got a very low mark. If I want to make up for it this year, I really have to hustle and focus on everything. But before I shift gears and go into that mode, I want to relish the remains of what will be my last summer vacation and do prepare myself for school. I mean I don't want to cram everything in the last minute. Come to think of it, I'll try to place everything on the weekends. My social life, I mean. I'll try to go out on weekends still despite the busy schedule. Maybe it can still work out. I mean I can make things happen when I want to. 

In another light, I guess this whole unchecked-things-to-do-list of my last summer vacation is just a testament to how I have been handling the situations that I've encountered recently. It's as if I'm not taking charge of the things that's happening in my life. Instead, I'm letting it get the best of me. I no longer make ways to get what I want. I just accept whatever is given to me. In other words, I've grown to be passive - which is not like me back then. Maybe it's time to get back to my roots and be who I used to be. It's good to realize this just days before the opening. :)

Thursday, May 30, 2013

The Awakening

Some things just never change... especially when it's deeply imbedded into the essence of your being. 

I've always been a writer and that's just plainly one of the personas that I will always embody. Perhaps there were additional roles such as being the writer-leader, student-leader and editor. But aside from that, I've always been a writer. I've been writing for more than half of my life and I cannot really imagine myself from completely stop expressing myself through my words. Unfortunately, there were a couple of stumbles along this path and I felt the aversion toward something that I absolutely love. 

After being the editor-in-chief for the Nursing Journal for two years, I suddenly felt some sort of aversion towards the craft. I tried to counter it by participating in an essay writing contest but it really didn't afford much cure. I felt like there was a huge part of me that was sucked away. I tried to go on a sabbatical but I felt as if I no longer want to come out of my "sabbatical". It was more like an escape from expressing myself through words again. I just loathed the idea of having myself write once more simply because I keep on recalling the challenges that I went through and how I forced myself to write and edit for days.. months.. years. And when I got out of that obligation, I just went on and tried to leave it permanently. That's just it really. But my friend, Marielle, told me to try blogging once more and perhaps it may be better. So, here I am. I'm trying to get it back before it's completely lost. I just hope I can. 

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Today, I attended the surprise celebration of my godmother. She's turning 70 this year and she still looks so strong. It was really touching what her children and grandchildren did for her. I shyly greeted her a happy birthday and she suddenly boasted about me becoming a doctor soon. I can't help but feel reminded of why I should focus on my studies once more. It's not anymore about me. It's also about their dreams for me as well. I guess I would always love singing but I think this path is going to be worth it in the long run.