I am not one who celebrates Christmas that much. I don't know. I can't say that I am a Grinch but i'm not an eager-beaver as well. I'm a Catholic - a moderately faithful one but still a Catholic nonetheless and I do or we do celebrate Christmas ever since I was young. I don't really know when I started losing the essence of the celebration - whether it was when I found out the reality of the Santa story, an incomplete Christmas celebration or what.. But what's clear is that I no longer am up to the celebration sometimes. I don't know. It's more on who I am celebrating it with than just the meaning behind the season. Love has been such a foreign word in this story. it's as if everything is just a mere obligation nowadays. I don't like what I'm doing and it's more on the powers of the superego that's pushing me to complete such daunting tasks. It would be easier if I could feel the appreciation and a little reciprocation. Unfortunately, that's one thing that they can't do. And the more I persist here, the more I die.